Though I know full well that God created us women to be equal with their husbands, until recently I'd cringe when reading the "helper" or "help meet" description of women in the Bible and/or Ellen White's writings. Today's reading was extra good to me, as it gave examples of how the word is used throughout the Bible, not just when pertaining to a woman's role as a wife. I enjoy my "duties" as a wife...it's a major part of my happiness, but it's always a good reminder and motivator personally, to read that God made women so uniquely and we're all individuals...even when we get married. :)
Ah, being a helper... I just know that I spent the first too many years of our marriage trying to convince Bill that he needed to be my helper. It wasn't until recently when I did some study on Gods plan did I realize what a blessing i could be to my husband if I was the helper, like HE asked, instead of trying to get Bill to change. Unfortunately I come from along line of bossy, busy women so it was a hard habit to change. Luckily, now, I can see that it was also a heritage of bitterness or resentfulness towards husbands that thankfully and hopefully, I don't have to pass on to my daughter!
I liked how ezerl (helper) was used three times to refer to God as a helper...we are more "like in His image" than we realize! I also liked the reminder that we are not just at our husband's side, but on his side (team)! Sometimes I feel we as women have more of an issue with being our husband's helper - where maybe it's our husbands that need to understand better what our roles are - "one his side, not at" or "lovingly serving each other" vs us always picking up after them...
With the Bible reading, I was made of aware of the power of guilt! Joseph's brothers were so guilty for what they had done, that they were unable to see the good things were being done for them. Gen 42:28 - the brother's were frightened when they found the money back in their grain sacks and the first thing they do is blame God "What has God done to us?"
And then I could relate with Jacob when we don't seem to understand the things in our lives - why do we always get so negative?! "Everything is against me" (Gen 42:36). Isn't faith about believing God loves us and He is taking care of us, even though sometimes we have no idea why certain things happen to us?!
I think most of us fight that role as "helper" don't we? I read a book recently that Staci loaned me called "Help Meet - How to Make Your Marriage Glorious" (or something like that) and although there are some things the author is a little over the top on, the gist is such a blessing and Biblical truth. Not only can I be a blessing to my husband but I personnally am happier when I really focus on fulfilling that role. That is my God-given role yet I fight it so often, taking control of my house and home and husband like they are another thing to conquer or "do". Tim is actually an even better husband and father when I keep my focus on my role - a helper - not on what he isn't doing...
I may need to read that book, Erin. I struggle so much since I have tried so many different times to let Mark lead our family - but honestly, it becomes more like a sinking ship! I really need to prayer more about it...we did read a book awhile back called "Husbands who don't lead, and Wives who don't follow", but I don't think we ever finished it. Maybe I need to find it again!
Posts
7 comments:
Though I know full well that God created us women to be equal with their husbands, until recently I'd cringe when reading the "helper" or "help meet" description of women in the Bible and/or Ellen White's writings. Today's reading was extra good to me, as it gave examples of how the word is used throughout the Bible, not just when pertaining to a woman's role as a wife. I enjoy my "duties" as a wife...it's a major part of my happiness, but it's always a good reminder and motivator personally, to read that God made women so uniquely and we're all individuals...even when we get married. :)
ESPECIALLY when we get married. :)
Ah, being a helper... I just know that I spent the first too many years of our marriage trying to convince Bill that he needed to be my helper. It wasn't until recently when I did some study on Gods plan did I realize what a blessing i could be to my husband if I was the helper, like HE asked, instead of trying to get Bill to change.
Unfortunately I come from along line of bossy, busy women so it was a hard habit to change. Luckily, now, I can see that it was also a heritage of bitterness or resentfulness towards husbands that thankfully and hopefully, I don't have to pass on to my daughter!
Thank God for good husbands...
I liked how ezerl (helper) was used three times to refer to God as a helper...we are more "like in His image" than we realize! I also liked the reminder that we are not just at our husband's side, but on his side (team)! Sometimes I feel we as women have more of an issue with being our husband's helper - where maybe it's our husbands that need to understand better what our roles are - "one his side, not at" or "lovingly serving each other" vs us always picking up after them...
With the Bible reading, I was made of aware of the power of guilt! Joseph's brothers were so guilty for what they had done, that they were unable to see the good things were being done for them. Gen 42:28 - the brother's were frightened when they found the money back in their grain sacks and the first thing they do is blame God "What has God done to us?"
And then I could relate with Jacob when we don't seem to understand the things in our lives - why do we always get so negative?! "Everything is against me" (Gen 42:36). Isn't faith about believing God loves us and He is taking care of us, even though sometimes we have no idea why certain things happen to us?!
I think most of us fight that role as "helper" don't we? I read a book recently that Staci loaned me called "Help Meet - How to Make Your Marriage Glorious" (or something like that) and although there are some things the author is a little over the top on, the gist is such a blessing and Biblical truth. Not only can I be a blessing to my husband but I personnally am happier when I really focus on fulfilling that role. That is my God-given role yet I fight it so often, taking control of my house and home and husband like they are another thing to conquer or "do". Tim is actually an even better husband and father when I keep my focus on my role - a helper - not on what he isn't doing...
I may need to read that book, Erin. I struggle so much since I have tried so many different times to let Mark lead our family - but honestly, it becomes more like a sinking ship! I really need to prayer more about it...we did read a book awhile back called "Husbands who don't lead, and Wives who don't follow", but I don't think we ever finished it. Maybe I need to find it again!
Post a Comment